Tuesday, February 23, 2010


I have been debating whether or not to post tonight, as I am not in a very good mood. Mainly because of the 2 incidents I am about to share with you. I am sitting here scratching my head and wondering- What are some people thinking???

Today was our weekly respite day. Dear Auntie gets a break for 4 hrs (imagine 4 whole hours......note the sarcasm!) For those caregivers out there - 4 hrs is a nice break to do something for yourself. Just as I was letting in Rosie, our respite worker and preparing to return to work after lunch, the phone rang. It was a relative who was calling to say he and his brother were coming to visit. Auntie told him it was a respite day today and his response was " We are not staying long". They stayed two and a half hours!!! So much for Auntie's break. Now, these guys are from town AND retired, so they could visit any day...........but I guess some people just don't think.

But Incident 2 is even worse. Today a co-worker sat in front of me complaining about how terrible and horrible it is that her grandparent is forced to share a nursing home with Alzheimers patients!!! "HELLO.......remember who you are talking to???" She went on and on about "those people" and how awful it was for her family member to have to tolerate!

Honestly I couldn't believe it. I should have said something but I was so stunned that I just sat there with my mouth open thinking......"please clue in and stop talking". I knew if I opened my mouth I was either going to lose my temper severely or start crying uncontrollably. After a few minutes I just made a quick excuse and left the room. Its still bugging me!

Now, I know that we ALL have said things we regret. I know I have. Sometimes you do say things to the wrong people at the wrong time, so I am trying to chalk it up to just not thinking. But it definately bummed out my day. And I'm still not sure if I should have said something or maybe just walking away was the best option. Anyway, I really needed to get that off my chest.



  1. Hang in there, Kim! I bet getting it off your chest helped! Sometimes you just have to say these things out loud and then you can let go of them and move on! I'm guessing the co-worker never gave a thought to your situation ~ and when she does, I'm sure she'll feel bad. You did the right thing to walk away! Hope you have a better evening!

  2. Alice is right! Aren't blogs wonderful for getting things off our chests! I wish I could be more outspoken......my husband gets to hear all my grievances! As a caregiver how well I know that we aren't given the considerations that we deserve! You wouldn't believe some of the things I have recently been having to deal with from family members in addition to all the time I spend caring for my mother's needs. I guess some people will never get it! I know you'll find some sunshine Kim and together we'll rise above these goofy people who test us! (Hugs) Cathy G

  3. Perfect example of two situations where the people involved had one thing on their minds. SELF. When people are wired that way they do not consider others.
    I am happy you felt able to talk about it here.
    I hope your tomorrow will be better.
    blessings Katie

  4. I feel bad for you Kim, my positive speech is that you have had your mom longer with the help of modern medicines then most, and I know you are thankful for everyday you have her.
    Not everyone could keep up the strength of this situation, you are a strong person.

    Do you want me to break their computer? hehehe


  5. Kim, people put their big feet[yes, I said feet} in their mouths without thinking sometimes but I still call it 'INCONSIDERATE'. My mother-in-law, God rest her soul now, lived in a long term care unit and it was depressing to see some of those Alzheimer patients there. Poor dears. I can only imagine what it must be like to have to care for them but you know, we do those things because we love them so much. You take care, Kim, and I do hope the person at work realizes what was said and turns so red with embarrassement that you can fry an egg on her face.....

  6. Kim,
    It is good to vent .... I hope your night goes better than your day .... And let me just leave you with this ... I think it is from one of those redneck guys ...Jeff Foxworthy ...
    "you can't fix stupid" and that truly applies to a ton of people out there!
    Take care sweetie ... My mom died from complication of Alzheimers ... so I know!

  7. Face it there are people in this world who are incredibly insensitive and those who have no common sense whatsoever. You just want to smack them in the head and say "hello, what are you thinking!" I think you made the right choice by leaving the room, you are the better person for it. Blessings to you!

  8. I'm so sorry you had to go through that stuff today - try to write those folks off as ignorant and don't dwell on them or what they did. My mother died a few days ago and I'm finding my mind is stuffed way too full of all of the ignorant things people did while she was declining. I'm going to tell a long tale in my blog to try to get it all out of my mind so I can start thinking about the good things - don't let your mind get stuffed like mine, better to dwell on the things you want to have in your long-term memory.

  9. It has been said before, but I'll say it again. People are just insensitive and self-absorbed.