Thursday, February 26, 2015

The eve of coming full circle

It's sometimes hard for me to believe but in a few hours it will be one year since my sweet Mom passed away.  I never knew how much you could miss someone until the moment she was gone. 

Tomorrow will be the last of my "firsts" without her.  However I am not looking at this as a sadness like many of the anniversaries in the past year.  I feel like I have completed the circle.  I have gotten through this year and survived.  

And I look back upon the last 12 months and can barely recognize my life.  So much has changed.  For so many years I was a caregiver and that was how I defined myself.  In the last year I have tried to figure out who I am now.  I still don't have an answer to this.  

But I do know that whatever I am, it's because of her.  She taught me everything.  She nurtured and encouraged.  Many times over the years I thought back to certain events in our lives and wondered why she did certain things, especially as it affected me.  As I got older, with more life experiences I realized she was teaching me.  Teaching me to be strong and independent, able to think on my own and reason out decisions, and to stand up for myself and not let others make me feel like crap.  

So tomorrow I will spend a quiet day, honoring my Mom for all she gave me. 


  1. Kim,
    What a beautiful post that brought me to tears.
    Your mom would be so proud of you.
    Big hugs,

  2. What an amazing tribute to your mom.

  3. This brought tears to my eyes Kim. I know I'm blessed to still have my Mom, but we all know that someday we will be faced with losing a parent. I lost my Dad so long ago, but still think of him daily. I hope you have peace and comfort from all your memories and also knowing you were a wonderful daughter who cared for her Mom through all the good and difficult times. Hugs to you.

  4. So beautifully written. I'm sure your mom is watching over you and is proud of the woman you are. Blessings to you.

  5. What a lovely tribute Kim. I sat here crying so much because all of it is true. I am so thankful you had her in and you were so blessed in so many ways.
    You have worked very hard in these last 12 months trying to go forward. I am very proud of you and thankful that you are my friend. I know you have so many great things in store for you as you continue to go forward one step at a time.

  6. Sending you hugs, Kim, as you reflect on what your mother has meant to you. You have done well taking her lessons and making them part of who you are today. xo Nellie

  7. Well, I knew this day was coming...and it still made me cry. You are such an inspiration -- seeing you come so far this past year! Life does go on and you living your life, even when times are tough, is the best way to honor your sweet mom!! You have a lot to be proud of! Hugs! Cindy

  8. Wow! I don't know what to say. Sniffling and misty eyed here. I can't believe it has been a whole year already. When this was happening for you I thought it would be happening to me too at any moment, remember?

    I just deleted a big paragraph of stuff....

    I too am so proud of you. You have accomplished so much this year. I'm sure your mom is proud too. This was a lovely post

    Take care and stay warm, Janet W ((((((BIG HUGS)))))

  9. You really have embraced this next part of your journey. xoxox

  10. oh Kim...what a beautiful tribute to your Mom this post was. Loving words. Yes, the 'firsts' are always the most difficult.You are a lovely woman.

  11. Kim, your post is very touching. I know how much you love(ed) your mom and she will remain your mom for eternity.

    She taught you well and it shows.

    Your life sure has changed this past year and I think it is still changing for the better. You've accomplished a lot.

    There's nothing as powerful as a mom's unconditional love. I'm an old dinosaur and I'm still learning about life.

    May this aAnniversary brings you many blessings for the year ahead.
    Big Hugs,

  12. Oh Kim, my heart hurts for you, I cannot imagine not having my dear mother with me. Anniversary of loved ones are so painful. Hugs Francine.

  13. No one loved or cared better for their mom than you, you have much to be proud and thankful for. You are strong you picked yourself up dusted yourself off and got on with your life. I am sure you mother knows and is so proud of you. my Mom who lived in our little apartment died 6 years ago and I talk to her daily it gets easier it just never goes away.

  14. Beautifully written. I lost my Mom 5 years ago. I still miss her every day but as time has passed it has gotten easier. Your mother is proud of you and the year you have gotten thru. She is still with you in spirit and will always watch over you. Blessings to you.

  15. I'm sure she is watching over you and proud of you. You've had a lot of changes over the past year and gave shown great strength. Hugs!

  16. Hi Kim - it's been a long (long time) since I've written on 'seeking' or been by to see how the world is spinning for you. Your words are beautiful ~ the part of you that is 'your mom' loves and lives on.

    I've been missing for oh so long as I lost my Dad this fall ~ striving still to regain my footing. Hope to return to writing a bit again before too long and greatly looking forward to stopping by here more frequently - hugs