Friday, October 14, 2011

Finding my way

It has been a long couple of weeks.  There has been a lot going on in my life lately.

I have been managing to plod along but today I am tired.  I think everything is catching up with me and I am glad it is Friday and I have a couple of days to decompress.

One of the coping skills I developed as I learned to  live with Mom's Alzheimers was to compartmentalize certain problems.  I just couldn't deal with all the different things in the beginning that were coming at me every day.  Sometimes you just have to deal with the task at hand and put the feelings and emotions aside for awhile. 

I would just take certain things and mentally put them in a box.  And that is what I have been doing for a long time.  But lately I have been collecting a lot of those boxes. They are getting a little heavy. So I guess that means I need to deal with some of them, before they deal with me. 

I feel better just admitting that to myself.  It is OK to have these feelings.  It is OK  to take some time for yourself.   It is OK to stop pretending to be the energizer bunny.

Actually, I feel better already.   Have a great rain-free weekend.  I hope to get some more photos of the fall leaves before they all disappear.


  1. Oh Kim, I hope you get some much-needed rest and relaxation over the weekend.
    Yes, it is OK to take time for yourself! You do so much taking care of everyone else. You deserve some quality ME time.

  2. Kim ~
    I hope you find lots of time for YOU this weekend. Hopefully you can kick back, relax, maybe have a glass of wine, hook. Oh heck, go buy some shoes {wink, wink}!
    Pug hugs :)

  3. That E-bunny mode is never good. You deserve to have time to decompress. Your task is so consuming and shows the strength of your awesome character. But, we all are human and need relief. I hope that there are dear people to help lighten the work load of responsibility and let you just have some time to come back to you a bit! You're right...surrender always brings some peace. All good thoughts and blessings to you my dear. Have a good weekend!

  4. Oh Kim,
    I think lately all of us are chasing our tails ... And running from our demons! Sweetie, I do hope your load lightens a bit ... And try to TAKE some "me time"
    Take care of you.

  5. Hi Kim, I think everyone that deals with a chronic situations of family members put on a brave face but we have to regroup at times and sometimes being chronically stressed about situations we have no control are mind boggleing.I wish I could put all my worries in a bubble and fly away.I hope your able to let go of your boxes a little , Hugs Cheri

  6. Oh Kim - you do have to do something good for yourself and decompress - you know I know! sandie

  7. Oh dear...those boxes can get very hard to carry if you stack them too high I hope your weekend is peaceful and restful.

  8. Kim, I'm sorry that I'm dragging my feet and just getting around to reading your blog.

    I hope that you are taking your own advice and are making time for yourself. You have been through so much and need a rest from all this. A good belly laugh, a bit of wine, some good company, chocolate and whatever else you need to restore your batteries.

    When I need a good laugh, I watch Carol Burnette on Youtube. She good for a laugh.

    It's raining hard here tonight. So much for a nice weekend. Hugs, JB

  9. I hope you do take some time to decompress. You really need too, you have done so well these last few weeks. I am glad you were able to share this much.
    You do have lots and lots on your plate and you do such a incredible job.
    I hope your weekend is nice.
    I love your pictures.

  10. It is OK to admit all those things and take time for that this weekend dear one. Thinking of you!

  11. Hey Kim....I know EXACTLY how you feel. I don't think I'm as far along tho as you, haven't learned to 'box' things up yet!!
    Karen & the Hounds

  12. You're not becoming a hoarder now are you? ;o) Seriously Girlfriend - sure wish I were closer physically - we'd unpack a few boxes together. I'm glad you've taken the first big step to recognizing they're in the room with you, and that you'll need your full strength and balance to tackle them. It never works very well when you're off balance - so wishing you luck in finding time for you to just get back to you and find center. Smiles & Hugs ~ Robin (Love the photos....great capture of the light....)

  13. As a caretaker and someone who works full time - you need to take care of yourself and you definitely need to take "me" time. So, put on those red shoes, get some chocolate, some wine, a good book, and relax. Or go someplace where you can just sit back, take a breath, and have some peaceful moments.

  14. I'm a "putter offer" myself...but things to tend to catch up and we do need to declutter and recharge. I hope you can do some recharging this weekend and enjoy some time just for you. The weather has been cooler this weekend and rainy off and on, but still the leaves are hanging on for a bit. Enjoy your day!

  15. I know that your load is heavy and it is heavier right now. I have found meditating has helped. Now do not make this one more project. Just sit and in a room with quiet no phone, no tv, no distractions,And quiet your mind you can not think of your troubles nothing just try to make it blank for 3-5 minutes.
    I also keep a gratitude journal I write all the things I am thankful for even it is I could breathe in and out today.
    thinking of you

  16. Kim: Didn't the Energizer Bunny crash into something? You have so much on your shoulders; sounds like you need to work on finding a place for Kim to go hide in once in a while, making her a priority instead. I about came unhinged after taking care of my elderly parents years ago (for a very long time), so I understand. XXXX