Dear Kind, courteous driver:
This letter is for the sweet man driving the enormous white Escalade I encountered at the intersection of Mapleton and Trinity this morning.
I'm sure you were just distracted by your cell phone when you cut me off and almost creamed me with your giant SUV. I'm sure you thought it was OK because you were bigger than me. But I'm sure you have heard before that size doesn't matter. In fact, I'll bet your wife has said this to you a time or two.
I am sorry that I could not make out all the words you were saying, as you were looked down on me when you pulled up beside me at the traffic lights. I could make out a few of your words though. I may have missed some of the fine nuances as I watched your big fat lips flapping at me through the glass of the windows.
I was afraid that perhaps you wouldn't hear my responses so I chose to respond in sign language. I truly do hope that you were able to fully understand my gestures. I have a feeling you have seen them before.
Thank you for making my nice, quiet little drive to Moncton for a few errands so very special. I hope you have a SUPER day, and that a thousand fleas infest your armpits - Asshole.
Sincerely, Kim
P.S. BITE ME
Perfect!
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ReplyDeleteKim,You have a way with words and I was not aware you knew sign language. I am glad your O.K I just wish that idiot could have read this.Hugs Cheri (your a good writer you made me laugh)
ReplyDeleteI hope he got taken out by an RV!
ReplyDeleteLoved it. I'm sure he deserved it.
ReplyDeleteExcellent! "and that a thousand fleas infest your armpits-Asshole" I really love that. And the Bite Me is a last great touch. And what is it with people driving vehicles when they are obviously the ones that screw up and do some dumb dangerous thing and the innocent person is sitting there shaking from averting catastrophe with their face frozen in terror and disbelief that the a-hole is the one that is all ticked off like it was the innocent persons fault. Do.Not.Get.It Glad you are ok Kim.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are ok. One day he will meet with someone bigger than him, and the shoe will be on the other food.
ReplyDeleteNicely stated. It could have been really bad.
ReplyDeleteOh my heck girlfriend...I know you're not laughing - but you do crack me up....I have to remember the armpits curse next time I have an encounter of the A-hole kind....Glad you escaped unscathed....Hope the rest of your weekend gets better....Smiles & Hugs ~ Robin
ReplyDeleteFirst cuts you off and then bitches you out like it was your fault??!!! What a jerk!!!
ReplyDeleteGlad you know sign language because he deserved it!
Glad you are OK.
Hope this dangerous fool was just passing through and is not a resident of your town.
Fleas in your armpits, why I have never heard that one before! Just glad you are okay, I hope he understood your gesture, asshole. Hugs from Maine, Julie.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh you crack me up!! But that could have gotten ugly, glad you are ok!!
ReplyDeleteKaren
Kim, I couldn't have said it better or sign it better if I tried.
ReplyDeleteYour closing at the end of your letter is exactly my sentiment, for this asshole.
I'm sorry that you almost got creamed by this idiot. But it made an excellent post venting your frustrations here on Blogger as most of us have had similar experience at one time or another.
Hugs, JB
It's always so typical to get screamed at by someone who actually made the mistake. It seems to be a growing trend! It's called the "entitlement gene". Glad you held your own and stood up to him. I'm also glad he didn't take it to another level. Be safe!
ReplyDeleteLOL.
ReplyDeletethe fleas are for all of his kind.
Kim ~
ReplyDeleteSo glad you are okay!!! That one finger salute does come in handy, doesn't it?
As always, you find humor in the worst of situations!
Pug hugs :)
Lauren
Kim ~ you have to learn not to suppress your feelings and get things off your chest!!!!! I'm laughing a lot ~ you are my kind of girl!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWe've all been there - and can so relate. I think fleas are too good for him! Glad you are here to write about it.
ReplyDeleteGreat post...I'm sure many of us can relate.
ReplyDeleteMan, I sure hope he's a blogger and can read this...wait, us bloggers aren't that stupid to drive like that! I'm glad you're OK and you did make me laugh at the end!
ReplyDeleteI wonder if he knows sign language:)
ReplyDeleteCathy
Wow the nerve of some people. What you need to do next time is smile your biggest smile and wave. It literally drives people insane. They absolutely go mad when you keep smiling at them. I have proof that it works.
ReplyDeleteYAY KIM!!!! I use sign language also, but try hard to restrain anymore because one time I had a guy follow me home and sit outside my house in his car for a long time. It scared me into trying to reform my ways...but sheesh! When people do that stuff, what's a girl to do??? You're my hero!
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