Friday, January 31, 2014

One step forward, two back


I am going to give you the condensed version of my week since I don't have the strength to go into all the details, but we have had a set back.  My worst fear happened Wednesday.  I got the call that they had a bed for Mom in a nursing facility but the problem was it was almost a 2 hour drive away, in a very remote village in the middle of nowhere.  Especially with this terrible winter, it would be lucky if I was able to get to mom once a week.  

So, naturally I refused for her to be transferred.  That response is unacceptable in our system.  I did not make many friends that day.  So, since we refused the placement, Mom will have to be discharged from the hospital and come home.   A hospital bed has been ordered and will be delivered next week.  My living room is being reorganized to become Mom's bedroom.  We will require quite a lot of home nursing support.  I haven't heard from them yet as to how much support we can access.  

But it doesn't matter.  We will find a way to make it work somehow. I could not live with myself if I allowed Mom to go to that facility.  I do not believe it is in Mom's best interest to have her isolated from her entire support system of friends and family.  I knew there was a chance she would be placed outside of town temporarily but not in the absolute furthest distance allowed.   I'm not sure how long she will be home before we can get back up near the top of the placement list for a better facility.  Hopefully it's not too long. 

So things are in quite a tizzy right now.  I took the day off work today to try and meet with some people and take care of some business.  Then a spent a few hours with a good friend who listened to all my ranting and ravings over a glass of wine. 

And one my way home I stopped to pick up a few necessities and found these....


Chocolate helps everything, right?  


21 comments:

  1. Kim, I was really praying this wouldn't happen. I hope the at home nursing comes through and her care goes well. I wish I had a magic wand to make it all better. Sounds like you have good friends watching out for you. Mixed with chocolate, you'll get through this. Hugs to you and your Mom and Auntie.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't even know what to say.... Sad, but the only thing that came to mind was something Little Crow says to me all the time, and, every time he says it I wanna slap him. (Ok, ok....I'll tell ya....cuz I know it'll bug the crap outta you if I don't.... "Gee, it really SUCKS to be you...." See, now don't you wanna slap me?? Well, at least maybe it got your mind off the pain for a brief moment....) I think what makes me so mad about him saying it is the truth of the statement.... But, seriously, Kiddo....wish, like Yaya, I had a magic wand, or some pixie dust or something.... That really just stinks. My mom was placed about a half an hour from us originally (and we had SOME say in where she went (yeah, yeah....depended on which facilities had an opening, which ones would accept her level of care, which ones would accept her level of payment, etc.....but, ultimately, we did have some input....) But, as you know, that "place" just "didn't work out....so we ended up going through the process again....Now she's a good 45 minute drive away from me.... With all the other things loaded on my plate recently, I only get to see her about once a week...and I feel bad about that because I know she's lonely.... But, lately, it seems half my days are spent between doctors, hospitals, nursing homes, etc. When my time comes, I will already be well-adjusted. :-( Ok, ok....None of this is probably making you feel better....but please know that I think of you, your mom, auntie and Miss Millie often....and you're always in my prayers. Consider yourself hugged....big time..... Robin (PS....why don't my friends give me cool things like boozy brownie mix???) ;o)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Chocolate certainly doesn't hurt. I am impressed by your strength and fight. I hope all comes together well.

    ReplyDelete
  4. So sorry Kim that the power that be is making things difficult for you and your mom. There is no heart in that business.
    She is probably better at home for the moment. I hope that you get someone to come in to help.
    Hugs,
    JB

    ReplyDelete
  5. Kim, I just dropping by to let you know you are in my heart and prayers. I will keep praying that things turn around for you and your mom. At least we have some say in where they go here, I know it is hard when you don't have a say. Just keep greasing the wheel as the saying goes. It takes fighting because it is your love one. Take care Many Hugs and Prayers from Your Missouri Friend.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am so sorry about the nursing home problem. My prayers are with your mother and all of your family!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Praying all will work out for you. I would have done the same thing.

    Hugs and yes chocolate makes it better.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Kim, I know it's hard having to rearrange everything but I'm so glad you put your foot down and said no to their stupid suggestion. I think you're right, it wouldn't be good for her to be so far away. It will all work out. Praying for peace while your world is upside down for a bit.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Kim, I am so pleased to read that you held your ground, I would have made the same stand...I understand how difficult this situation is, please remember you have a friend in Maine who you can vent to at anytime...Thinking of you and keeping your mom in my prayers...

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm sorry. Hopefully another opening will become available for her that is acceptable. Until then, while you are taking care of your mom, make sure you take care of yourself, too.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Morning Kim, so so hard to handle all this but glad you didn't put your Mom there. Yes, chocolate does help, keeping you both in my prayers, Blessings Francine.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Chocolate. Absolutely! Take those small pleasures when you can. Virtual hugs for you and real prayers going up!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I don't blame you Kim, that would have been too far. I will continue to keep you both in my thoughts and prayers....and yes, chocolate does help! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Kim, although, it's been a year since blogging, I still look in periodically on my blogging friends such as yourself. I have been a fly on the wall, so to speak, but have been right there with you with your mom's illness and now, subsequent, placement. Having an aged mother too, I know what you are going through, for sure.
    Blessings and prayers to you, your dear mother and Auntie and of course, little Millie.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I am so thankful that you have such good friends who take such good care of you. I just never know what to say as I have never walked in your shoes. I will continue to pray for you as I have done. My heart breaks for you and I am always at a loss of how I could help you.
    I am relieved though it means more work for you and your aunt, but I am so glad she gets to come home. I am sure she will be much happier to be with what she is familiar with and I bet Millie will be too. My heart goes out to you.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Well, gosh I think you already know how I feel about it -- BLEEEEP #!?* Ha! The system does not make me happy! However, between that chocolate and your friends, I think you're gonna be ok!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh I have had that chocolate and yes for a few seconds it takes it all away.
    keeping you in my thoughts so glad you have friends to lean on.
    Cathy

    ReplyDelete
  18. Oh, Kim! Bless you! You are certainly to be applauded for standing up to "the system!" I send along continued thoughts and prayers for all concerned! Hugs and love, Nellie

    ReplyDelete
  19. Kim,
    I am so sorry for all you are going through but you are doing what is best for mom and that's all that counts!
    Hugs :)
    Lauren

    ReplyDelete
  20. Kim,
    Keep your chin up. As they say, God never sends more than we can bear.
    Michele

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh kim there are no words but one day at a time,hugs cheri

    ReplyDelete