One step forward, two back

I am going to give you the condensed version of my week since I don't have the strength to go into all the details, but we have had a set back.  My worst fear happened Wednesday.  I got the call that they had a bed for Mom in a nursing facility but the problem was it was almost a 2 hour drive away, in a very remote village in the middle of nowhere.  Especially with this terrible winter, it would be lucky if I was able to get to mom once a week.  

So, naturally I refused for her to be transferred.  That response is unacceptable in our system.  I did not make many friends that day.  So, since we refused the placement, Mom will have to be discharged from the hospital and come home.   A hospital bed has been ordered and will be delivered next week.  My living room is being reorganized to become Mom's bedroom.  We will require quite a lot of home nursing support.  I haven't heard from them yet as to how much support we can access.  

But it doesn't matter.  We will find a way to make it work somehow. I could not live with myself if I allowed Mom to go to that facility.  I do not believe it is in Mom's best interest to have her isolated from her entire support system of friends and family.  I knew there was a chance she would be placed outside of town temporarily but not in the absolute furthest distance allowed.   I'm not sure how long she will be home before we can get back up near the top of the placement list for a better facility.  Hopefully it's not too long. 

So things are in quite a tizzy right now.  I took the day off work today to try and meet with some people and take care of some business.  Then a spent a few hours with a good friend who listened to all my ranting and ravings over a glass of wine. 

And one my way home I stopped to pick up a few necessities and found these....

Chocolate helps everything, right?  

It's a tough week for a control freak

If you've been following along here for awhile you know that I'm a bit of a control freak.  OK, it's more than a bit.  I don't like surprises.  I like to know what's around the corner.  I plan and over-analyze most things.  I'd rather be prepared for the worst and then be relieved when it doesn't happen.  For me it's better than thinking everything is coming up roses and then getting smacked in the face by a thorny branch. 

So, this was NOT my week.  Issues with Mom's eventual placement are out of control.  I have to just wait it out and pray for the best.  Because many of the options before us are ugly.  I had a meeting today at the hospital.  I talked, I argued, I pleaded, I stated my case and I cried.  Ultimately it doesn't matter.  Things will just happen and I need to try and come to terms with that.

Not easy for me!  But based on today's mental state, it's important that I learn - and quickly.  

So tonight I tried to settle down and hook on my pillow.  I've replaced the bright orange with a darker shade.  The difference is subtle but works much better.  I think it's hard to see in the picture so you will have to take my word for it. 

I think this may be the longest pillow project in history.  Sighhhhh!  I "really" need to finish this and move on. 

Where did the week go?

Not sure where the days went but it seems I haven't posted since Tuesday.  Oops!  Although I didn't get the full storm day I was looking forward to on Wednesday, I did get half a day.  Our office, and most others closed at noon.  It was a lazy snow day.  

Millie and I spent most of the afternoon like this

Don't you love her eyes?  Since I'm not home as much lately, when I am here she barely takes her eyes off me.  If I move, she is on high alert in case I leave again.  Such a loyal little buddy. 

I did drag myself off the sofa long enough to make this batch of "boozy brownies" (enhanced with some Baileys) 

Before you ask for the recipe, I don't have one.  This was a gift with all the dry ingredients layered in a pretty jar.  All you had to do was add the eggs, butter and liquor.   (I just realized I should have taken a picture of the jar before I dumped it in the bowl.  Bad blogger!)  

I ended my work week with a laugh.  A friend invited some girls over for a Pajama party.  There was wine, lots of candy, fancy center pieces (lol)

And so many laughs.  You know the kind where you're doubled over with tears streaming down your face, generally over some really inappropriate story.  Gotta love a good old fashioned girls night.   

Now I'm ready to fix a hooking issue that has bothered me.  I wanted a warm rust, or deep gold for the leaf and a swirl in my pillow.  I didn't have that in my stash so I thought I could get away with some orange 

It is just too bright for this piece.  I found a more muted piece of wool at Deanne's studio this week so tonight I'm ripping and re-hooking.  I hate doing that but since this piece is already sold, I want it to be perfect.  If I was keeping it myself I'd probably leave it as is.  I'll show you the after pic when it's finished.  

Ok, you're all caught up on my news now.  I will be around to visit you later. 

Here it comes again

More snow!  A blizzard in fact.   I predict much shoveling in my future tomorrow. 

So sick of winter.  Soooooo sick of it 

Chairs, smiles, and flowers - Oh My!

These ladies in the front row are a good depiction of our mood today.  It was smiles all around.  Today we had Mom sitting up in a chair for about 2 hours.   You should have seen the huge smile on her face when we took her out of the bed.  But after all these weeks in bed, it seemed to tire her out.  She was snoring loudly when I left.  It was so great to see her out of bed and smiling. 

I have made some progress on my pillow project.  It's the Sassy Sunflower design from Red House Wool Studio.  I've already hooked this once but still love it.  I have a new Red House Wool pattern ready and waiting for this to be finished. 

A little more hooking time and then it's time to settle in - It's Downton night!  I know it's crazy but maybe Anna will wake up and last weeks episode will just have been a bad dream sequence.  Yeah, yeah, not gonna happen

TGIF

I thought today would never get here.  I even got to go to Happy Hour tonight.  I could only stay 45 minutes so it was more like Happy 3/4.  But who cares.....there was wine!

I did notice something a little off at the end of the day.  I finally got to sit and relax, kick off my boots and look......

And guess what?  I have another pair just like these :).  Clearly I wasn't entirely awake or alert this morning when I dressed.  Good thing it's still boot season.  

I am going to share something special with you.  It's a recipe I found today.  If you have ever been to Nova Scotia and you haven't tried a donair, then you haven't lived.  A landmark in Halifax is King of Donairs - a late night hotspot when you're hungry.  Nothing like eating spicy beef, wrapped in a pita, drizzled with a special sauce and wrapped in tin foil.  And there is no delicate lady-like way to eat it and nobody cares.  The sauce dripping off your chin and running down to your elbow is all part of the charm.

Some genius has adapted a recipe for donair dip.  I'm totally making this.  But to confess I'm probably going to cheat and buy some actual donair meat from the local take-out instead of following that part of the recipe 

http://mmmisformommy.com/2013/05/hot-donair-dip-aka-halidip.html. 

I'll let you know how it turns out. 

Now, I've got some wool ready to cut and waiting to be hooked into a pillow.   TGIF all!

Dusting off my tiara and returning to random

Another week, and I am feeling more like my old self.  Yes, a friend reminded me it's soon time to dust off my tiara and return to my old princess mode.  Lol.  (Well, in my own mind anyway).  

The only glitch this week was picking up a little bug that completely flattened me on Tuesday.  I'll spare you the details but I'm sure you can figure it out.   But I bounced back Wednesday and resumed my random adventures.  And by "adventures" I mean shuffling between work and the hospital.  But I think I'm establishing a good balance.  

The weather has warmed up and the snow is retreating.  Yay!  Now, those of you who live in the cold climates will appreciate this next cartoon someone sent me today after a hilarious discussion a few weeks back about how we neglect certain "chores" in the winter.  

It's funny because IT'S TRUE.  Lol 

Now I'm still deluding myself that I interested in trying yoga.  Not crazy pretzel yoga, but simple stuff.  I know I won't but I can't stop pretending I will.   This is how it will be

Ok, still here?   So clearly not much blog-worthy happened this week.  Well unless you were fascinated by my hairy legs or my hours curled up on the bathroom floor?  Didn't think so.....

I'm hoping to have a rug hooking update for you this weekend.  Stay tuned.

Beware....it might be a trap

Around supper time I was cruising around my Facebook news feed, looking for a distraction from some of the "behavioral misdeeds" going on in the hallway outside Mom's room.  (Wow, it's like a bad soap opera there somedays).  I saw a post from one of my friends who teaches yoga.  She was doing a Yin Yoga class this evening.  She said "bring your pillow and blanket, it will be a great night to relax and restore...." 

Sounds pretty appealing, doesn't it??  I admit, for a few minutes I was intrigued.  A pillow.....a blanket.... Relaxing......   Briefly, this is what I envisioned

Or this.....

I momentarily focused just on the word Yin - you know, Ying Yang, balance, etc.   Then I remembered the other word.......YOGA

OUCH, that's gotta hurt

I forgot, I DON'T BEND.   Plus there is that little quirk I have where I spontaneously say inappropriate things or giggle uncontrollably.  (Especially if someone is trying to bend me into a pretzel)

Yeah!! That would work in a yoga class.  I tried to convince another friend to go, as a reconnaissance spy for me but she wasn't falling for it either.  LOL    

Remember ladies, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is ;)

My day, by the numbers

Well, my plan worked perfectly.  And yes, even Millie complied with the sleep-in plan.  We woke up at 10:22am!!!  That is just a few minutes short of me sleeping for 12 straight hours.  I don't think I've done that since I was a teenager! (And that wasn't yesterday)

After visiting mom for lunch I decided I needed to go home and color my hair.  It was a mess.  I told a friend I looked like a Hag.  Lol    So this is the number that de-hagged me

Bye bye Grey.  

And also bye bye to some snow.  The next number is exciting because it is above zero

7 degrees!!  There are puddles instead of ice patches.  Oh happy day :)

So that's my day by the numbers so far 

An open letter

Dear Alarm Clock,

Due to faithful and unfailing service, I would like to grant you the morning off tomorrow.  Please do not ring or the results could be fatal.

I fully intend to sleep uninterrupted until my tired-ass body wakes on it's own.  Your cooperation in this matter is greatly appreciated.

P.S.  Millie, please try to hold it in.  Cross your furry little legs if you must.  

Be a big girl - no scratching at my face or jumping on my head.   I must warn you, my furry little princess - I am not above resorting to these if you do not comply

Night All 

Being Civilized

It's funny how time gets away from you and stress and worries can make you forget the simplest of pleasures.  A few nights ago, at around 8pm, as I re-heated some leftovers in a cereal bowl, and ate while I paced around the kitchen, I suddenly realized something......I hadn't eaten in a civilized manner since about mid December. 

Don't get me wrong, I've eaten good food thanks to the thoughtful and generous friends who have brought food to the house and the hospital.  Every thing from gourmet wraps, seafood chowder, cabbage rolls and even maple glazed pork tenderloin.  But it seems every thing I ate was from an aluminum pan or Tupperware dish, or most of the time sitting on the edge of Mom's bed, eating the remains of her hospital tray.  (I even ate once directly from a pot standing over the kitchen sink). All of a sudden I really missed sitting down at a table, eating off an actual plate with a proper place setting.  Such a simple pleasure, right? 

Today I went to lunch with a good friend.  It was so relaxing.  A simple soup and panini, but it was worth a million bucks to have a sense of normalcy again. 

Somedays it's just the little things that make us so happy :)

Ruff and Random

I am trying to get back to a routine and that started with going back to work today.  It was rough let me tell you!   And it probably didn't help that I stayed up late last night to watch the return of Downton Abbey.  But I couldn't help myself :).  Yes, I still despise Mrs. Crawley and that sniveling Mosely.  And although I miss mean old O'Brien, I love that Thomas has found another miserable maid to be partners-in-crime.  

I drove to the hospital on my lunch hour and fed Mom her lunch and made sure things were OK.  (I'm trying not to be upset about things I can't control, which isn't easy for a control freak like me).  By the end of the day I was completely wiped out.  I kind of crashed just before 3pm.  I could barely hold my eyes open.  At one point I was scared I might fall off my office chair and get a concussion as my head might have bounced off the floor.   I took a little walk around the building and then "really" got a wake up.  You see, there is really no heat in the ladies washroom at work.  I learned that if you are sleepy, just take a seat in there.........This is how it felt.....

Lol. It's true.  Another supper time visit to the hospital and then tucked Mom in for the night.  And now, in the spirit of me trying to return to normal, I am sorting through wool and preparing to start a new rug hooking order.  Someone has requested another sunflower pillow. 

I'm going to try and post more regularly and eventually get around to visit a few more blogs.  My bloglovin feed went all wonky yesterday. Not sure what happened or how to fix it. 

Bye for now.  The wool is calling me

The system

I'm not sure where to start with this post so excuse me if I ramble a bit.  There is a mix of good news and some not so good.   Might as well start with the background and then hit you with the good.   On December 18 I met with the doctor who quietly advised me that Mom had about 2 weeks to live.  Throughout the holidays we had good days and some very bad days, all along as I quietly and sadly counted down the days in my head. 

Following a pretty bad New Years Eve, Mom seemed to rally a bit.  She stabilized which was a blessing but also what I assumed was what people often term "the brightening" before the end.  However the rally continued for the past few days.  She isn't getting better, but she isn't getting worse. 

Yesterday I was advised that since Mom had several consecutive good days, she is no longer considered palliative and is now deemed "medically stable".   Which is great news - truly.  But it also means something else.....it also means that now I will be charged for her care AND she is now in what I call "the system".  

All the hard work that Auntie and I have done over the past few years was to keep Mom at home as long as possible and be able to select the Long Term Care facility of our choice for when that time came.   As long as she was at home, we had that ability.   This is no longer the case.   As she is hospitalized and "medically stable" we now have lost all control over the future.  She is unable to be cared for at home now.  She will remain in the hospital until a bed in a facility opens up.  This could take months.  But the worst part is that she will be forced to take the bed in whatever facility, wherever, once it's her turn.  That means it could be anywhere from a 20 minute drive to an hour and a half drive away.  There is no guarantee that she will be placed in our town.  

Having said all that rant, I have extremely grateful for Moms strength and the fact that she continues to fight.  That's what is happening around here.  I have to of back to work tomorrow.  At least things have settled down a bit. 

Can't stay away

I really am missing regular blogging and reading all your antics.  I can't stay away for long.  Although I don't have much to talk about but thought I would let you know what's been going on around here. (Other than the never-ending barrage of crappy weather)

But first I will fill you in on the majority of my time.  Mom continues to fight.  We are taking turns at the hospital. There really isn't much change this week.  There has been no improvement but more importantly, she is holding her own.  As the doctor said, she's just not ready to go yet.  So we continue to do what we can for her and keep her comfortable.  

Friends continue to support us in amazing ways. Visits, phone calls, emails and messages.   Meals and treats are delivered regularly, and yesterday I had a travel coffee mug delivered, full of "special" coffee.  Yumm 

A few nights ago I arrived home from the hospital (tired and stressed) and I just sat down and heard a noise.  I glanced around and then I saw it.....the living room roof was leaking.  Within a few minutes there were 3 different pots on the floor catching drips.  Stupid winter weather!  All the snow and ice had created an ice dam along the eaves and the melting water had nowhere to go but in. 

(Photo courtesy of google. Not my house)

The next morning I was on the phone early and found a man to come and shovel the roof and chisel off all the ice.  Luckily he came right away and solved the issue (for now).  It's one of those un-planned expenses but was necessary.  I don't need one more thing to worry about. 

Last night I decided to make a chicken soup.  Kind of stupid to start at 9pm but I can tell you it was a welcome treat today during the storm.  Nothing more comforting than homemade chicken soup on a frigid, blustery day.   This winter is brutal.  The past few days have been so cold.    There's an expression around here "it's so cold, you'll freeze your arse off" so when I saw this on Facebook it made me laugh

Miss Millie continues to be hopelessly lonely all day.  I can hardly move an inch when I'm home - she is permanently attached to me.  And she is so tiny she minds the cold.  Let's just say she doesn't waste any time "doing her business" outside.   

I'm going to try to blog more regularly.  I soon will have to return to work and I need to begin to try and re-establish a bit of a regular routine, whatever that may be.   I would also like to start hooking again.  I have that new 8.5 cutter which has yet to be broken in.