Trying

Some days are more trying than others.  Today was nothing special or out of the ordinary for me, but it seemed to be exceptionaly trying.  Perhaps it was the headache or the tiredness.  Not even the result of poor sleep - just tired all around - physically and emotionally.

I try not to dwell on things.  I have made a conscious decision to put my family first.  And at times I feel like I am required to make excuses for my choices - even to my friends.  My decision to care for my family is one I will not apologize for or justify.  I could make it go away with one phone call, but that is not me.

I cannot be the same person everyday.  I do not always have enough left to be happy, perky, funny, helpful or even compassionate everyday.  For those who choose to judge me on that merit - too bad.  

None of my friends or co-workers know the whole story of each day.  There are very few who I choose to share little bits with.   I figure that unless you come here and live it for awhile - do not judge me.

I find it odd that if you are caring for a sick or disabled child it is more readily accepted but it you choose to do it for a senior citizen it's questioned or judged. 

Some days this makes me bitter.  This will pass, I know.  Today I just felt the need to vent and get this off my chest.     I apologize for the depressing post.  Maybe I should have stayed off the computer tonight. But I think I feel better just putting it out there.    I will be better tomorrow.