Sunday, November 24, 2013

Once upon a time....

Once upon a time, there was a kind old lady who lived at the North Pole.  She was sweet and generous to all she encountered.  But her husband was a bit of a workaholic who was rarely home.  He was always in the workshop for most of the year with his "friends" and when holiday season arrived he took regular "business trips" to spread joy.  

But his wife was lonely and quite frankly becoming suspicious of exactly what "spreading joy" meant!  Her husbands excuses were always the same and she feared the worst.  Her mood deepened as the holidays neared.  She took solice in her kitchen, baking and tasting copius amounts of fruit cake and gingerbreads.   Why bother to take care of myself she asked -- he's never home anyway.  So she continued to seek affection directly from the oven. 

One day a concerned elf appeared in her kitchen.  He held up a mirror to her rotund face that had now sunk and spread to where her neck used to be.    "Look at yourself" he squeaked.  "No wonder Santa is hiding out in the workshop."   

"Oh dear.........look at what's become of me", she moaned

"My hair is a discolored rats nest and........WHERE IS MY NECK??"   The concerned little elf hopped up on the kitchen counter and dried her eyes.  "Let me help you.  I know a plastic surgeon who is doing new techniques using wool.  I just know she can help you."  

So the Mrs put her faith in the little elf and made an appointment with the surgeon.  She begged to look less like a witch in a red dress and more like the kind, sweet, caring person who once lit a fire in Old St. Nick. 

P.S. If Santa is a little late getting to your house this year it's because he's "getting busy" with the Mrs....


  1. Love it !!! that should be that next holiday book.

  2. Ha-ha-ha! What a great story!
    How do I contact that plastic/wool surgeon...?

  3. Oh my goodness Mrs. Claus had a Lifestyle Lift!!! Looking good...

  4. The story is as wonderful as the rug!!! Beautiful work...can't wait to see the end!!

  5. Oh what a great story. You are very creative. I love it. I love the rich colors.
    You're a hoot.

  6. Oh! I LOVE this, Kim! You have me chuckling here! Great work!

  7. You silly girl. That's cute. LOL


  8. Too Funny Kim, you make me laugh, should have been a comedian.....Loved that story, can you tell me where she got her work done, :) Blessings Francine.

  9. Kim, very funny I really enjoyed your story and the rug is great.

  10. That is so funny! You really need to write a book sometime. I always enjoy reading your posts!

  11. Love it! You'll have to read Joy's "Mrs. Claus" story some day - it's all about who really does all the work for Christmas ;-)

  12. You are so hilarious!!! This is so great. I can't wait to show R. That is the best Christmas story I have heard all year.
    Also your rug is adorable.

  13. Hi honey
    I tried leaving you a comment earlier and it is now somewhere near the North Pole so I will try again.
    Can't think of a better way to start my day than laughing at one of your stories.
    I could sure use one of those wool touch ups you are helping Ms Claus with because since the colder weather I seem to be making lots of cookies myself.
    Not sure which one I enjoyed more the lovely rug or the hilarious Christmas Story.
    Thinking of you and stay warm in that wicked weather your having.
    Love ya

  14. LOL! Thanks so much! I needed the laughs this morning.Great story.Have a wonderful week.Blessings,Jen

  15. Hahaha! Hallmark will be calling soon for the movie rights! Too funny!

  16. Oh Kim! That was hilarious! I think you need to get started on publishing these little juicy short stories for hookers everywhere!! I did think Mrs.S Claus looked a little scary before the wool surgeon got a hold of her... what a difference the right Dr. with some skills can make! LOL!
    Stay warm and jolly!!
    Cathy G

  17. LOL! That is the best Christmas story ever!! Love it!!

  18. Oh boy!! You've been in the wine, haven't you? That is funny, my friend!!