Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Evil Genius for Hire?? Any takers??

OK, sometimes you gotta wonder about people.  This morning a co-worker sent me a link to an advertisement on Kijiji (a Canadian Craigs List).

This was an actual posting.  Luckily I printed it as soon as I read it, because it was too good not to save.  I tried to send a friend the link this afternoon but the ad has since been pulled.    Here is the ad - verbatim from what I printed.

"Nemesis required.  6 - month project with possibility to extend"

I've been trying to think of ways to spice up my life.  I'm 35 years old, happily married with two kids and I have a good job in insurance.  But somethings missing.  I feel like I'm old before my time.  I need to inject some excitement into my daily routine through my arm before its too late.  I need a challenge, something to get the adrenaline pumping again.  An addiction would be nice, but, in short, I need a nemesis.  I'm willing to pay $350 up front for your services as an arch enemy over the next six months.   Nothing crazy.  Steal my parking space, knock my coffee over, trip me when I'm running to catch the BART and occasionally whisper in my ear "Ahhhh, we meet again."    That kind of thing.   Just keep me on my toes.  Complacency will be the death of me.  You need to have an evil streak and be blessed with innate guile and cunning.  You should also be adept at inconspicuous pursuit.  Evil laugh preferred.  Send me a photo and a brief explanation why you would be a good nemesis.  British accent preferred.

OK folks,  just how darn bored with your life do you have to be to post an online ad inviting this stranger into your life?  

There have been some famous hero - nemesis partnerships

Superman and Lex Luther

Batman and the Joker

Spider-Man and Dr. Octopus

So now I have to wonder if he got any responses.  And then of course my dark twisty mind went to work thinking about what kinds of things his nemesis could do to spice up this poor lonely (naive) guys life.  I thought his suggestions in the ad were a little tame (or lame)

Lets see,  Get the the $350 up front and then steal the guys car, leave it in the yard of a local House of Ill-repute and report it stolen.    Ummmm, steal his credit card, buy sexy lingerie, send it to his wife at home with another womans name on the card.     Ahhhh, hack his work email account and send imappropriate emails to the boss's wife.    Well......they guy said he wanted to spice up his life..............

I did consider applying (briefly).   I practiced my evil laugh all day  Muwahhahhahaha

Any other suggested activities for a pure evil nemesis?   I know I have lots of readers here with dark twisty minds like mine.  Suggestions??

Just think - this guy could be following YOU around


  1. What the heck!! I'm going to have to think about this one. I suggest that if he is so bored with his mundane life maybe he should do some volunteer work. I can't wait to show my kids this one. I know they will have lots of suggestions..

  2. I'm afraid I watch way too many Criminal Mind shows...I'm just plain freaked out by this ad. Isn't his day job enough of a nemesis? Most day jobs are...just saying!

  3. Kim ~
    It takes all kinds.
    My mind is a blank canvas ~ nothing evil or sinister comes to mind. Sorry :(
    Pug hugs :)

  4. I can't think of anything. I guess I don't have a stalker gene. But when he says nemesis it reminds me of Sherlock Holmes remember he had Moriarty who was his nemesis . When Moriarty died I think did not Sherlock Holmes miss him.He had no challenge. Cheri

  5. Wow, who in the world would want someone like that, I have enough dumb things happen on my own in my day to day life. I did hear once about someone who was so bored they went to the dentist to have a tooth pulled.
    I think it is kinda sad really, to not see the beauty of life all around them. I think he needs to take a walk through the place I had to go to once where all of the poor people had to spend all day taking Chemo. It would cure him of what ever ails him.
    Pretty selfish if you ask me.
    It did make my mind go blank because I guess my mind doesn't go down that path very often.

  6. I guess I'm just never that bored and complacent. But what a great sense of humor... I'm hoping that was a sense of humor anyway.

  7. Fascinating post but just plain scarey, dontcha think???

  8. Unlike the previous commenters, my mind started swirling with possibilities...Yes, poor, sick, twisted you said, he knows not what he asks for....And I say, you came up with some awesome game plans pdq....let's see, I'd add calling the local utilities pretending you are him and saying you will be on an extended vacation and would like your utilities shut off for say a month; leave a message on his answering machine saying you are calling from the Teenage Mother's Counseling Service and are returning his daughter's call (variation: Call and say you are from the local child support agency and understand he's requested paternity testing in the matter of Baby A.J.K.....and you would like to schedule that for him); call and report his car as stolen as he's leaving for work in the morning (for an added touch, ties a dog leash to his trailer hitch...); put a "for sale by owner" sign with his number in his front yard....repeatedly.... twisted little crow brain is going to be spinning tonight!! :o) Smiles & Hugs ~ Robin

  9. Why does everyone assume this poster is a man?

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  11. He or she should start blogging. Never a dull moment if you take the time to read all the blogs! Esp. Millie Mats!
    Cathy G

  12. This is great! Can't imagine ever seeing an ad like this never mind writing one! lol! Quite frankly... I know quite a few people that would give anything just have a boring day....

  13. Actually I think I've had a crazy person trying to trip me up many times in my life. I mean, really, some days it feels like I'm living in an alternate universe! Atleast it didn't cost me any money!

  14. Oh my word how strange!!! And as usual had me chuckling over practicing your evil laugh! Somehow I'm guessing you don't have an evil bone in your body!!

  15. Oh Kim, I may have been away from Blogger too long but you haven't changed a bit , thank goodness. Humm... let see. I'd take the air out of his tires, spray paint his car and even his house, crank calls in the middle of the night, spill his garbage on his lawn, throw rotten eggs on his door step. I better stop before I have too much fun thinking of ways to make his life a little spicier.

    Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog. Hugs. JB