Sunday, February 9, 2014

Pretty is a slow process


Another busy few days.  Last time I posted I was getting ready to finalize things at the Long Term Care Facility for Mom.  I went on Friday morning to complete all the paperwork.  Lordy, there were about 20 pages to the agreement etc.  I have never held back on telling you how I feel here so there is no point stopping now.  It was quite an emotional time.  It seemed like with every paper I signed I felt a little worse.  Well, mixed feelings really.  I know I'm doing the right thing, but each paper I signed felt like I was selling her or just handing her off to be someone else's responsibility.   I know that's silly but the paperwork was getting out of hand.  

We discussed Moms condition and limitations and then it was time for me to see the room.  We kept walking and walking down the corridor and I kept getting this sinking feeling, especially as we neared the end.  Sure enough, the room was the last one at the end of the hall.  I felt sick, but decided to hold emotions in check and just let see what happens.  I knew the rooms were small but.......small barely qualifies.  Tiny, more like it - for 2 people.  I tried to introduce myself to the lady in the room but it wasn't going well.  The more I tried to talk to her the more she gave me "the stink eye".  Shit, this isn't going well, I'm thinking.  

Then the staff member with me said that maybe the room at the end of the hall wasn't the best idea for mom as she doesn't communicate well and is unable to understand the call bell and how to ring it.  Perhaps she needs to be closer to the front or middle of the ward.  YAY!!!   That's what I was thinking but didn't want to start out complaining in the first 5 minutes.  

So she was going to try and see if someone would agree to trade rooms before Tuesday.  So that was great but it also means I can't get the room set up yet.  I did ask if it was ok if I bought a small recliner for the room so auntie and I would have something comfortable to sit in while we visited.   No problem so I did go put one on hold to be delivered this week.  

Then I went to find a pretty new comforter or bedspread.   Arrgh. What a pain that was.   Good luck finding something in a "twin bed" size for someone over the age of 12.  There was nothing but kiddy stuff.  I figured I was going to have to drive into the city Saturday morning and try my luck. But then about 11pm Friday night I remembered Amazon.   I went online and found all kinds.  I bought a very nice, cheery quilt and it should be delivered Tuesday.  

So I'm hoping that tomorrow they will have the actual room location confirmed so I can start bringing a few things in. The ambulance is transporting her Tuesday at 10:30 so that doesn't leave me much time.  I've picked out a handful of outfits for her and they are packed in the car.  I need to buy new slippers and pick out a few pictures for her room.  And I want to hook a few smallish rugs for her wall.  

Auntie and I are trying to adjust to the fact that we are getting some time back to ourselves.  We did something today we haven't done in a long time.  We went out for brunch together.  


That's what is happening here. I had thought that by tonight I would have had Mom's new room all fancied up but nothing ever happens as fast as I want.  A few more emotional days and hopefully we are embarking on a stable period.  

25 comments:

  1. well brunch looks so yummy! Glad you got a chance to relax. I am so glad you and your mom will be getting settled. You are an incredible strong woman.
    Cathy

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  2. Thinking good thoughts for you and mom and hoping all goes smoothly.
    Hugs :)
    Lauren

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  3. You can do it! Sending happy thoughts!

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  4. Oh dear friend, be strong, it will all come together real soon.

    Felicia

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  5. I am sending you encouraging thoughts through this process, Kim. Love and hugs, Nellie

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  6. I can tell that this a very sad time for you and I am so sorry! I hope that room exchange goes well! hugs!

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  7. having been there, I can relate, hugs

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  8. Thanks for the update. I understand how you feel and wish you the best for a smooth transition Tuesday!!

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  9. Oh Kim....I know those feelings so very well....(and several times over within the past 6 months....) Unfortunately, if your experience follows mine, you don't get over them.... My mother continually still wants to go "home," even though she is now in a facility that we are mostly comfortable with.... It's only when I really focus and realize that there just isn't a way we could "make" it work for her at home safely that I get any peace. Hoping and praying the transition - for all three of you - goes smoothly, and "pretty" comes quickly..... Smiles & Hugs ~ Robin

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  10. This sounds like a caring facility that is willing to work with you and your Mom. And hurray for Amazon! :-) Brunch looks delicious!

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  11. Morning Kim, sending prayers all runs smooth with your sweet Mom, Hugs Francine.

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  12. You are doing all you possibly can and it will all work out well. One thing that you can be grateful for is that you succeeded in getting your mom in a facility close to you. A lot of other people are not so lucky.
    The dinner out was well deserved.
    Hugs,
    JB

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  13. I know it's very hard right now because we just went thru this last fall. I'd love to tell you it gets easier but truthfully it doesn't but it does get ok. I used a quilt in the room so it would be easy to wash along with a quilted lap throw. I also brought lots of old family pictures along with a few new ones which seems to help. I set up a "snack station" in the room and he shares with all the nurses daily which we think helps get faster responses to our requests. Good luck sweetie and will continue praying for you, mom and your aunt.
    Donna

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  14. I will be praying for you and that all goes well. I am so sorry it is like this. It sounds like you are making the best of a very, very hard situation.
    I love the picture in the top of this post. It is so happy.
    Praying for you.

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  15. Kim I also know how hard it is to see a parent be placed in a facility outside of home. It is something that has to be adjusted to and I think you are doing a wonderful job. Take it one day at a time. I will be keeping you and your Mom and Auntie in my prayers and thoughts. The little things mean so much...
    Hugs!!!
    Cathy G

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  16. Sending love and prayers that all will work out seamlessly...Thanks for your sweet words on my blog I'm following you now as well hugs lil raggedy Angie

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  17. Kim
    My heart goes out to you! I know this couldn't be an easy decision and you wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't the right thing to do for your Mother.
    She's very lucky to have you as a daughter and it sounds like her room is going to be very spiffy!
    God Bless-Kimberly

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  18. I am so glad that the staff decided she needed a different room! That is a great sign that they will tend to her needs. I know you will do a beautiful job decorating her little room, even if you only have a tiny bit of time. It will all work out and then you will get to settle in to the new routine. *hugs*

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  19. Hi there, wow I know those feelings. I hope that everything can get worked out and that your mom can have a good room mate. I know that she will have a cozy place when you are done decorating.
    My mom doesn't want anything on the walls...it makes it feel "permanent" She does not like the place she is in.
    Anyway, thoughts and prayers to you my friend. Take care Janet W
    Are you on anyway chat program online? Maybe we can chat that way. :)

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  20. I does seem someone is looking out for you and your Mom. Every obstacle has been placed before you and every time it has taken a bit of a turn for the better. This has to be the hardest thing to do and I wish you the best and hopefully you'll have a good room and room mate for her. I'm so happy you had a nice brunch with your Aunt!

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  21. Big hugs for you.I can't imagine how you are feeling,but know that you are doing what is the best for her.Hope that everything is lined out soon and keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.Blessings,Jen

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  22. Like everyone else out here in this big world of blogging I too am sending you prayers for both you and your Mom. You are such a strong young lady and an amazing daughter. I hope by now everything has worked out for you both and you can relax some. Brunch with your Aunt was a much needed break.
    Hang in there.
    Love ya
    Maggie

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  23. Sounds like it is all slowly coming together. It will be nice when you get her room fixed up for her. I never really thought about it before but I bet it was hard finding a twin size bed cover that wasn't for a kid!

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  24. Oh Kim, I know exactly what you are going through and it breaks my heart. My mother in law was in a long term facility until her death and my mother left my house at the end and went into a nursing home for her final days. It is sad, but it does get better once you wrap your head around the necessity of it. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. It will get better.

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  25. I'm just catching up as I don't think I've been getting your blog on my reading list this week. I know exactly what you've been feeling about your mom as we went through the same process with our dear grandmother. It truly is a mixed feeling, isn't it. But I know you'll have her in a pretty place and as comfortable as possible and settled soon. Hugs!

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